I would call him defiant. I would say he doesn't listen. I would say he is strong willed. I would say he is stubborn, hyper and wild. I would say that I am scared and worried that if he continues to be on this path that a difficult path lies before him in schooling, with friendships and life. I worry that there might be something medically wrong and that a visit to a pediatrician is in order.
I have completed the Triple P Program (Positive Parenting Program). I have used the program. I have recently gone back over the program. I have read Toddler Taming. I have read Love and Logic. I have read anything that even hints at giving some relief to his behaviour issues. We are not getting any where...except the small relief that getting older provides (he IS improved from three months ago!)
Everyday without fail Chook will take a toy from Ooffa. It doesn't matter what toy it is. If Ooffa has it, Chook's gotta take it! It happens throughout the day and it is driving me crazy. I have tried to bring Chook's attention to the distress that taking the toys causes Ooffa. He laughs it off. I have tried to put him in the Thinking Spot. He leaves it immediately. I have tried to put him in time out. He leaves immediately. I close the door. He goes into hysterics and opens it immediately. I lock the door. He goes into complete meltdown and we have lost the whole point of the problem behaviour.
At my wits end, feeling utterly defeated, I rang the Parenting Line in the hopes that the person on the end of the line would give me a solution other than Time Out. She didn't.
Time out and star charts just don't sit right with me. Yes, I am a teacher. Yes, I have used both as behaviour management strategies. But now with my own child, there has to be a better way! How can a three year old child be placed in time out and be expected to know that doing A behaviour leads to B consequences. I don't see the learning in this strategy. Yes, you tell the child why they are going into time out but while they're there...experience tells me they're not thinking about their behaviour, so what's the point if it's not helping address the problem behaviour?
And star charts...Great for chores, homework and teeth brushing etc but generally over used and they never directly deal with the unwanted behaviour.
So here I am.
This can't be it.
There has to be something else.
So what do I fill the void with? What are the alternatives?
It's time to regroup. It's time for a new game plan.
It is time to gather everything I know about child development and behaviour management and my own personal beliefs and make it work, for my sanity, Chook's future and our family.
Waldorf encourages mothers to regularly participate in activities that enhance their wellbeing, renew their spirit and work on their inner self. This inner work is encouraged as it assists mothers to be the best they can be for themselves and their families. Finding a new path for Chook and I is going to be my inner work over the next few weeks (months? years?). I want my parenting to be positive, pratical and effective! I want to feel the joy again.
I welcome you in joining in with me on this journey of parenting with joy.
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