Are you enough? Yes, you are!
Sometimes I am so tired, I can't be all I can be. I start thinking I am not doing enough around the home or with the children. When I am tired the energy levels are low, my tolerance for toddler antics is low and things seem to get on top of me real fast. Steiner talks about young children consuming etheric or life energy from their parents during the first three years of their lives. Think of it as being interconnected with your child. Think of it as if they are drawing energy from you just like they once drew energy from you when they were in your womb. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine she likened it to an experience where she got so much done one morning and still had lots of energy compared to other mornings, and then she realised her little one was out with daddy that morning.
Mothers of young children (under three) can probably relate to this energy drain. Sometimes that energy drain is so severe you feel as though you've been taken to the brink, looked over the edge and realised you've got no more to give. That's why we need to replenish this energy. When you are looking over the edge that negative voice starts and you are not strong enough to fight it. Words spoken by others suddenly take a whole new meaning. Their words become sharp and make you feel inadequate, even though that is not what the person is intending.
It is easy to feel that you are not enough when you are drained of your energy. To feel that you are trying your best but getting nowhere. As a breastfeeding mum it is easier to have people understand your lacking in energy and need to rest. It is a lot more difficult to get people to understand that need for recharging when your children are seemingly separate from you(unless their mothers of young children themselves!). Communicate with your close family and friends. Share with them how you are feeling physically and emotionally. Reduce the amount of activities you do outside of the home. Rest when the children rest or enforce a quiet time in the afternoon. Go to bed before 10pm at night. What other things could you do that would take the pressure off you and allow you to recharge?
Teenagers also experience an energy drain. They reach a stage of development where they need sleep like a young toddler, at least 14 hours a day. But this is the time that they start staying up late! It might be for study, chatting with friends, sport training sessions, after school commitments or gaming/computer use. Added to this, school starts early in the morning and the result is that so many of our teens are just not getting enough sleep.
Around this time many teens start to feel that they are inadequate. They compensate by trying to prove that they are not. Self-esteem can hit an all time low. Could it be that their energy tank is low?
Teens and young adults need to hear that they are enough. Imagine the boost to self-esteem if those they love and respect thought that they were enough, just as they are!
I knew Steve was the one for me because with him I felt that I was enough. When you feel that you are enough, you realise that there are no strings, no conditions, no expectations. Just as you are, you are enough. This is the essence, I believe, of unconditional love.
Our marriage is blessed with four beautiful, healthy children. The wonderful experience of family is that everyday they make you feel that you are enough.
A few signs that you are enough (by no means a complete list):
Actions speak louder than words!
It is the way a child cuddles into you.
The touch as they go past you on the way to somewhere else.
That beaming smile that is just for you.
When they babble away to you, secure in the knowledge that you know exactly what they are telling you!
When they want you to join in with their play.
They listen to you and they share snippets of their thoughts with you.
I dearly wish that I communicate to my children that they are enough. I worry about my relationship with my teen. I wonder with all the chore reminders, the disappointment when things are not followed through in the way I wish and the times I get upset because he lets his hobby take over his entire day, whether he knows that I still think he is enough.
I worry about my relationship with my toddler. He's a feisty one! He has such a strong resolve and stands firm on how he wants things to be. It's going to take a lot of love with this one! Today I stood back from a situation where we normally would have locked horns and I thought to myself 'I've got to stop doing this! This approach is just not right with his personality. It is not communicating the right message and that's why we're not getting anywhere!'
It comes back to loving unconditionally. It comes down to discipline in a loving way. In a way that says "You are enough, I just don't like what you are doing".
What are the signs that say 'You know you are enough'? Please add to the comments below!
Posted by Amie M